Interview with Elwood Grimes

Elwood Grimes

My Interview With Elwood Grimes

by Vern Finkle


I first had contact with Cowboys With Attitude during their short "heyday" in the winter/spring of 1991. I was working in Olympia, Washington as a free-lance writer, writing reviews of Z-grade movies. After working on a review for which ever Z-grade movie I watched that night, I went over to the Columbia Street Pub where an Open Mike was being held. I was singularly unimpressed with the proceedings until the "feature set" when Elwood and Rockslide took the stage. Their inventiveness and wit overwhelmed me as I sat in a trance. I knew I found my all time favorite band.

I went to as many of their performances as I could over the next few weeks and then, as quickly as they hit the scene, Elwood and Rockslide disappeared. I was crushed!! I decided to devote my life to finding Elwood and Rockslide.

Over the years, I have followed up on many leads but have always come up empty, until now! I received an anonymous tip that Elwood was still in Washington State. I called the phone number my source gave me and found my self talking to the man himself: Elwood Grimes! After many conversations, I convinced him I was not a hit-man hired by his ex-wives, and he invited me over for an interview. We sat down in his trailer, located in an isolated part of Washington State (Elwood made me promise not to divulge his location as a condition to giving this interview).

Read on to find out all you would want to know about the least charasmatic (but most lovable) country singer in the history of country music.

Q. It's a pleasure to finally get to meet you Mr. Grimes. Thank you for consenting to this interview.

A. Uh-huh. Nice to talk to you, too. And please call me Elwood!!

Q. OK, Elwood. First of all, what have you been up to since Cowboys with Attitude broke up?

A. Tryin' to keep one step ahead of my ex-wives. They're tryin' to sue me for makin' them live on a skunk farm and ruinin' all of their clothes from the smell. The law's been after me, too, for impersonatin' a country singer, but they haven't been able to comprehend me yet.
I've worked a lot of jobs from slingin' burgers in a greasy spoon to shovelin' cow manure. I also tried workin' in a bakery but I got tired of the bread and decided to go on the loaf. I even tried laying carpet, but I wasn't rugged enough. Now I'm just runnin' this here trailer park for this old geezer I met one day while lookin' for a place to live. He gives me this trailer rent free for watchin' over his place.

Q. Have you heard anything about Rockslide Slim's whereabouts?

A. Well, we were out of touch for a long time, but when I began this here home page, I got a letter from him. So I wrote him back about my idea and he sent me a biography which I have included as a link ( Rockslide Slim ).
I hear Rockslide is back in Montana wrastlin' women and rustlin' cattle or something like that.

Q. How about your childhood? Any memories you would like to share?

A. Well, I was too young when I was born to remember where or when. I grew up on my daddy's skunk farm, which he left me when he died. I was an only child because mama wasn't too interested in makin' whoopee because my daddy and the farm always smelled so bad from them skunks. I remember my daddy always complainin' about that to my mom!! But mom tried to get him to get rid of the skunks and raise chickens or something, but daddy never would.
I started school when I was five, like everyone else, but kept being held back. They finally kicked me out of the third grade when I was nineteen. Said I was "too big" or something like that.

Q. When did you get your first guitar?

A. I got my first guitar when I was thirteen. I heard a Slim Whitman record and was hooked on country music. I started to listen to all the big stars like Boxcar Willie and beggin' my daddy for a guitar. I guess I drove him crazy, cause he finally gave in and bought me a used guitar for $5 from a friend. It was kinda beat up, but I didn't care. I wanted to be like my heroes.

Q. Did you take any guitar lessons?

A. No, just learned on my own. My daddy couldn't afford lessons, so I learned from listening to the radio and whatever records I could bum off my friends. I also met some other guys who played guitar. They would never come to my house because of the smell, but we would get together and jelly or jam or whatever that's called. I learned a lot from those guys!!

Q. What is the story behind all thoise ex-wives?

A. Well, I got married then first time when I was 20, I guess. We moved into the farm and things went ok for awhile until she got tired of the skunk smell and just up and left.
I coudn't afford a dee-vorce, so I just went on and met some one elso and got married again about a year later.

Q. Isn't that bigamy?

A. No that was BIG OF ME!! You had nothing to do with it!!
Anyway, she up and left, too and filed for dee-vorce. She said clothes were all ruined because of the skunk smell and that we didn't get along too well. The judge granted the dee-vorce.

Q. But you have bee married three times right?

A. Yeah, I married my third wife a couple of years after the second marraige went into the dumpster. She left for the same reasons as the other two

Q. What is this about your ex-wives hiring hit men?

A. All three met and wife number one is mad because I never got a dee-vorce. Wife number two is mad because she found out about wife number one and the lack of a dee-vorce and wife number two wants money for the clothes she lost. And wife number three is just plain crazy!!!

Q. Wow, what a story!! On to other things. When and where did you meet Rockslide Slim?

A. Well, I'll tell ya. I went into Sorrow, that's the town about twenty miles from the skunk ranch, to get some supplies form the store and there was Rockslide. He was sittin' on a chair, playin' his guitar and singin'. I said"Boy that sounds good!" He said, "Get outta the way, I need to spit in the spittoon!" Before I knew it I had tobbaccy juice all over my boots. That was the start of our partnership!

Q. So you two began writing songs together?

A. Yeah, after I cleaned off my boots, I invited Rockslide over for dinner and we started playing guitar together. I played some songs for him and he played some songs for me and before ya knew it, we were writing songs together!!

Q. What was the first song you both wrote?

A. I believe it was Who Gives a Damn, We Don't. We got some help with a line or two when we got to Olympia, but most of the song was written on the ranch.

Q. Speaking of Olympia, when did you two decide to leave Montana?

A. Well, we wrote a few more songs and I had heard that we could get recording contracts in Los Angeles. The skunk farm was not doing so good, so I traded it for a loaf of bread and a gold colored brick (the guy said it was going to be worth a lot of money soon). We both took all of our money, put gas in my old truck and set out for California. We kinda got lost and the truck broke down outside of Olympia. The rest is history or somethin'.

Q. How did you end up at the Columbia Street Pub?

A. We heard of this thing called an "Open Mike" where anyone could play their music. So, we went in a played a few of our songs, and people went crazy. We were told we were great and people suggested we make an album and everything. So we did.

Q. I also saw an article about you guys in the local Olympia newspaper!!

A. Yeah, a reporter heard about us and did a story in the paper with a picture. It was nice!!

Q. How did the album Bootleg come about?

A. Well, we were asked to play at the Asterisk and we decided to record the show. That show became our only album Bootleg. We made some copies and actually sold some.

Q. What song was your biggest hit?

A. The song we got hit the most fer playin' was I Thought Our Love was Burnin', But It was the Pancakes Instead. We also got hit a lot for the song Are You a Lady or Just One of Them Regular Gals?

Q. I hear you and Rockslide were to amke a second record. What happened to it?

A. We had the songs written and everything, even had 'em recorded, but then things went sour and we had to break up. So the album never got finished.

Q. What really happened to Cowboys with Attitude?

A. We were hearing stories about our ex-wives being out to get us. We heard rumors of the women hiring hit-men and all that stuff. Then we had a performance in Seattle that we were fired from after the first night. To top it off, the police were after both of us for impersonatin' country singers and spittin' on the sidewalk. So, we both had to leave and lay low.

Q. That's too bad, Elwood. We are coming to end of the interview, but before we're done, can you answer some questions about the songs?

A. Sure what do you want to know?

Q. I'll name a title and you tell me about the song.
I Thought Our Love was Burnin', But it was the Pancakes Instead

A. That really happened to me. That song is the story of one of my dee-vorces.

Q. Cain't Win Fer Losin'

A. Rockslide and I wrote that when we were in a good mood one day.

Q. I Love My Horse

A. I wrote this for my favorite horse, Rusty. I get choked up just thinkin' about 'em.

Q. I Went to Heaven and Saw Elvis

A. That song was dedicated to Rockslide and my favorite magazine The Weekly World News. Only the truth there, by gawd!!

Q. Yer Prettier than a Bucket Full O'Hog Grits

A. That song was written from real life as well. Both Rockslide and I have met women like that in Montana at one time or another.

Q, Stick it Where the Sun Don't Shine

A. Well, we wrote that after we was fired from that gig in Seattle. That was an angry song.

Q. Lastly, Are You a Lady or Just One of Them Regular Gals?

A. That song was written about women we met on the road. We could never tell what they were about, so we asked this question. And got hit a lot, too.

Q. It has been an experience talking with you. Any words for all of your fans?

A. Thank you all for your support. Rockslide and I ahd a great time while it lasted. And watch what gets on yer boots!!

Q. Well said, Elwood, thanks again for your time!!

A. No problem!!